Evil

Watched a TV show that depicted the random murder of the couple in Dartmouth, rural New Hampshire. The murderers were a sixteen and a seventeen-year-old boy. They did not know their victims. In fact, it seems that they drove across the border of Vermont to find someone to murder. The police, commentators and family all wondered how two teenagers could commit such a brutal, senseless crime. I wondered about it too. How could two young men do such a heinous thing? I was distressed.

Suddenly, I saw two walking white forms, each with a black mass in their chests where their hearts would be. I assume that is the spiritual picture of a sociopath.

It is believed that our hearts are organs of perception, not just vessels pumping blood. There is a field of awareness that emanates from our hearts. (Article: The Heart is an Organ of Perception). That may be how a dog wags from ten feet away when it sees a person who likes dogs, but dogs are also psychic.

The Q’ero of Peru believe that there is no evil in nature or the larger spiritual universe. Evil and manifestations of it are a human invention.

Spiritual Pictures

When I met him, he was an older man who had retired from a demanding career. I asked if he needed help on the project. His blunt answer stunned me, “It’s not rocket science.”

I replied, “No, it never was. Problem is, in the middle of it, I always wish I was done and I start dreading the cleanup.” He harrumphed in reply.

I decided that he was not a charming man.

 

A year later, this man is now suffering from some form of heart failure. I found this much out because I think he was upset enough about it to talk about it to a stranger. He needed to get worry off of his chest. He seemed to be concerned with the end of his life possibly coming quickly.

As a former medical doctor, he felt no need to actually explain what was wrong with his heart. I could not get details of what was wrong. It was not congestive heart failure. He was willing to tell me that his father had died of a heart attack so severe that the heart exploded open. His problem was genetic. There was also a suggestion of his father being a very angry man. The more I wondered what was wrong with his heart, the more I wished that there was something I could do to help. I began to ponder.

Could I offer to do reiki? Did I want to explain reiki? Could a shamanic healing help? Would I ever be able to explain shamanic healing to such a man?

The not so charming, sort of blunt and tactless man was a retired surgeon. He appeared to me to be the least receptive man I had yet encountered, and worse, if he decided to make fun of me, the others working on this project would know. My confidence failed me to act.

I drove along a quiet road, worrying about the man. Suddenly, I got a mental picture of a large, fist sized grey object rotating in space. It was his heart. It was grey and shriveled like a large walnut with deep crevices. As I marveled at that picture, it changed. Suddenly, three inch wooden spikes were sticking into the fist sized shriveled grey mass like cloves in a holiday ham. 

What on earth could happen to a heart to become so shriveled? What did the image mean?

My mind was reeling as I saw the heart turning. Then I saw two squirrels run and begin to work on the heart. All I could see was their backs and they worked furiously. I had a sense that they were chewing up the myriad wooden spikes covering his heart. A car pulled in front of me and I could see no more. Squirrels were working on his heart in the spiritual realm.

What does this work in the spiritual realm mean in the physical world? Would it help the man now? I have no answers.

I asked other healing friends what the images meant. I got a mix of answers such as don’t think so much about the pictures or stories. I asked one respected woman if I should offer to help with healing. She commented that it was probably his time to go. Then I became confused. Why do I need to see spiritual pictures of the problem if I am not supposed to do anything with the information?

 

 

Spiritual Helpers

 

Every healing brings specific spiritual beings for that individual’s healing needs. Different animals and spiritual beings appear each time. Some seem so off the wall that it is hard to tell someone what I see without wondering if it could sound made up. I have seen squirrels, a praying mantis, a komodo dragon, a moose and others arrive to help in their way. This is why real life can be a lot more interesting than fiction. Sometimes the spiritual being looks like a little street sweeper in a painter’s cap and matching overalls. I have seen disembodied hands appear and begin to work or once, to sew portions of the lightbody to heal it. Anything can happen. The beings that appear are particular to and have meaning for the person being healed.

A friend let me practice on her. I raised her light body (LEF) to about a foot off of her chest. The light body visually appears as if it were a layer of fluffy cloud or cotton ball material. The fluffy cloud of the lightbody becomes a stage on which the spiritual play of a healing plays out for the shaman to witness.

Among other things, the lightbody (LEF) is a form of etheric record of all our past lives. Past injuries can remain in the light body sometimes predisposing us to illness in that same area. Weapons that have injured or killed us can exist in the light body. Other times, people who have betrayed us can leave an imprint there. Often it just needs clearing and cleaning. Angelic beings will sweep it as if a stage, or buff it to a clean white glow.

Things will pop up from the light body. I have seen people dressed up in the iconic pilgrim costume pop up (I say iconic because historically, the early colonists wore English clothing not the black and white outfits seen in pictures) in the cloud. The pilgrim was the person in a past life where she burned at the stake as a witch. Someone said that they pulled a battle-ax out of my back during a healing. Once I saw an ex-boyfriend appear and he appeared to be smirking which indicated that he was not choosing love when acting in relation to that person.

During my friend’s healing, an angelic being began to rake the light body (cloud) and things popped up. Suddenly, two boxers appeared in the light body and began to bash each other as if in a boxing ring. Normally, if there is a dangerous being, a jaguar might go, tackle and devour it. In this case, nothing was happening. I began to get alarmed. The boxers were really swinging and hitting hard. Normally the spiritual healings are tame affairs. I wondered if I could do anything to help. Then, my analytical thinker emerged and I wondered if one of the boxers were my friend in a past life or an image of a conflicted relationship going on in this life. What did the images mean????

“BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, Boom…” a gigantic grey elephant raced into the picture and stomped out the two boxers into the light body. The elephant came from across the front right side of me. Normally, animals appear as if they have been offstage. This one roared straight at me to get at the boxers. Even though this could be considered imaginary, I fell backwards in fear and surprise at the sight of an elephant. He loomed large in my view. Then I began to get distracted; how could an African elephant appear in a shamanic healing? He did and he got rid of the ‘problem’ of the boxers for my friend.

After it was all over, I told me friend about the elephant arriving. I felt crazy, she was delighted. “Wow! I always tell me kids that the biggest, strongest animal in the jungle is not a meat eater, but a vegetarian. That’s amazing.”

The Role of the Ego

Shamanism and the path of light are both about service to others. A shaman works to assist others with their personal problems and healing. It is a path of love. Shamans raise the issue to make it visible in the spiritual world where spiritual helpers do all the work. As needed, key animals, angels, or assorted spiritual beings will appear to do the healing task.

Reiki is about becoming a clear channel for healing energy (rei-ki) to pass through to another. The reiki energy stimulates the body’s own natural healing ability. The reiki practitioner does not do healing, just provides the way for the person in need to gain access to the energy. The practitioner is simply a conduit for the energy.

Spiritual work is not about fame or glory. It is actually devoid of both. Successes do not result in boosts for the ego, especially because it is about the service to others, not the healer.

I don’t talk much about my healing work. I get strange looks. I don’t feel love when I do. Guys on the dock have asked, “What other weird stuff are you into?” and I am afraid to ask about what they might be asking or referring.  A boss teases me about doing voodoo.

 I work near a dock where men lift and move heavy things all day. Occasionally, one gets hurt but can’t afford to stay home. It is hard to watch a big strong guy dragging himself along in utter agony. I have been driven to offer to do reiki just to end their suffering. This results in an awkward explanation of what reiki is on my part and, “Huh? Don’t think so!” on their part.

Despite this, one guy let me try doing reiki.  He’d been tensing up so much that one shoulder looked higher than the other as he walked. I did reiki as he sat and he said he could not feel anything. Despite this, he relaxed. Suddenly, he sank into the chair as if comfortable. After fifteen minutes, he said he felt better.He started to get up to go.  Really, twenty to twentyfive minutes of reiki is not long enough to do much good, but he had been in pain. Said he, “Man I feel great. That muscle relaxer that I took an hour and a half ago must finally be kicking in.” 

Welcome and Hello

Money has the power to make change happen and to do wonderful things. It can buy wonderful things. Money can mean personal freedom. It does not add meaning or value to our lives. Only quality relationships can do that. It is hard to figure this out in America. (True freedom is a well-funded retirement and the chance to retire whenever we want. Start saving.).

I have searched for meaning for a while, never finding any quality answers. Working on college campuses, I have asked college students to define it. One 19 year old female told me that it was a struggle against mediocrity. I think that she was very wise. This blog represents my search for meaning and where it has led so far. I don’t have any answers but the journey is getting interesting.

Without meaning, we seek thrills and highs that are natural, artificial, risky or short lived. Riding a roller coaster is thrill seeking that we pay to enjoy. Engaging in an affair is a destructive form of thrill seeking that we should pay for dearly. Shopping beyond my spending limit has always been a form of a high for me for which I will be paying for a long time. Eating chocolate, junk food or sweets gives a sugar high. I like indulging in each one. (I’d be a chocoholic if I could afford Munson’s chocolate fulltime. I can’t.) Many of these behaviors are short-term distractions, which keep us from finding true meaning or planning for the future. I have shopped until I could not find the sweater I wanted in my clothing pile, and I did not get any happier. (Seeking highs and other forms of stimulation probably fuels the interest in the sensational in the news, the Internet and television.)

In my quest for meaning, distraction and mental stimulation, I have taken all kinds of interesting classes. I have taken painting, pottery, aerobics, sign language (can’t do it), Vietnamese (scared a small child when I tried to speak it), Italian, Italian cooking, German (in Germany, someone told me not to bother), jewelry making, psychic development (worst student in class), reiki, Irish history, any history and anything else that caught my fancy. I really want to take a class to make pastry and massage.

I took a yearlong course on light body or energy healing only to find out that I was actually studying shamanism. Being a lifelong graduate student, I was stunned and not necessarily pleased. I asked why the word, “shamanism” was not in the brochure as I had read it (once a geek, always a geek). I was told that it was implied.

Shamanism is not a word I fully understood then. It is not a term I would ever use to describe myself. I have not told family about it yet. I am in the psychic, shaman closet with co-workers, academic friends, most friends and acquaintances. Doing reiki is a little out there for many people, so talking about shamanism seems foolish. This is a spiritual test for me. 

Smart people do not believe in psychics, fairies or anything that can’t be touched, verified or quantified. Crazy people do. In a statistics class, I once asked if two tarot card readers turned over 8 of 10 of the same cards, wouldn’t that be an inter-rater reliability of .80 or 80%? I was told that good graduate students do not believe in psychics or card players.

How could I have backed into a course on shamanism? Why did this happen? How does Shamanism really work? I have more questions than answers. In truth, the weekend workshops featured the Medicine Wheel of the Q’ero of Peru and they were fascinating. My teacher led us on meditations where we met spiritual figures, our ancestors and ourselves in the future. These meditations were way more fascinating than anything I have ever read, seen on TV or in movies. They were also more useful; my Italian grandfather told me to get rid of all the stuff (“all that shit”) I have in storage that I am paying to store.

Since then, when I meet people and they tell me about a health problem, I see pictures. I assume I see what the problem looks like in the spiritual realm. What do the pictures mean? What am I supposed to do with the information? Should I offer to help? Can I help?

Would you risk looking crazy to help another?

How do problems in the spiritual realm manifest in the physical realm? I am only a student of shamanism, can I really make a difference?

In 2003, I saw a deer that my dog did not notice. The deer turned to look at me from what looked like ten feet away. He was my call to a spiritual path. This is my journey. 

PS. I believe in fairies. They keep my garden and houseplants alive.