When Brian died, accompanying news reports said that the woman he was with just prior to his suicide accused him of rape. For me personally, rape is a serious, awful crime; a terrible violation. This was hard news to hear about Brian.
I have thought a lot about Brian’s “tortured mind.” At first, I wondered if the rape allegation had anything to do with it. I didn’t get any information there. It either was not relevant or not important. The intuitive landscape led me to money.
A year ago, I knew that extortion was at the bottom of Brian’s suicide and I assumed that in time, the police would find out and make that known. My intuition told me that the woman was in on an extortion plot with two other men. The woman who claimed rape was helping two other men extort money from Brian.
Hoping for an inside update, I saw his brother recently and asked in general about the information I had given him about Brian. (At the time, he had looked at me with wide eyes. He had slightly demanded to know where I had gotten the information with suspicion. I never got the sense that it was appreciated or received well, but I am not here for appreciation. I am just the messenger.) He surprised me when he said his mother had gotten great comfort from knowing that Brian was at peace. All there is- is love.
As an acquaintance, it is not easy to ask anyone personal questions. It is not appropriate at work. It is harder to ask an upper boss question you have no right to ask. I persisted. “What about the possible extortion?”
There are layers to what we can deal with. At different times, things are easier. A year has passed so I am hoping that he is ok to talk about this. He looked at me curiously but said nothing.
I persisted. “Did the police find out anything about the extortion?” I assumed that there was an investigation with follow-up reports that explained the whole story, not just what was known at the time. I was wrong. I probably need to stop watching television.
Brian’s brother looked at me. I don’t know what the poor guy was thinking. Thankfully, he explained anyway.Brian had borrowed $15,000 from him a short time before his death. He hadn’t asked for what he needed the money. At the time, Brian had seemed desperate for money. Only recently had his brother just finished paying off that loan for Brian.
Brian had asked his brother for money right before his death. He probably had no where else to turn when more money was needed. Crime was not an option. Therein lay his tortured mind. He was a middleclass African American male who would not steal.
I would hate to believe that anyone would ever falsely accuse a man of rape. It goes against the grain knowing how many women have had to fight to be believed. Thinking about Brian’s tortured mind, I get no information or inkling of a rape. I can’t help but wonder if this claim was a distraction to explain why a man would go upstairs in her building and shoot himself. I hope that I am wrong.
I am left with the awful taste of injustice. I am wondering why this is coming up now and I do not have any answers. It may help his family to know that his name was cleared but that is an earthbound way of thinking. Brian does not require vengeance.
In spirit, the dead are very forgiving. Why? On earth, we walk as actors in a script that we act out to work out our past life and present life sins and karma. We are not to blame for what happens to us. Sometimes when bad things happen to us now, we caused them for someone else in another time and need to experience the hardship ourselves. We are on the universe’s roller coaster ride of life lessons. Other times, a bad thing (car crash, divorce) may be the event which detours us onto a new career, a new life and our spiritual path. In retrospect, sometimes the worst thing that can ever happen to us is actually the best thing that ever happened to us. In this larger view, we need to be forgiving.
In the circle of love, forgiveness is the final act.
No comments:
Post a Comment