Bill I

One of my favorite co-workers is Bill. I don’t know him well but I know that he is kind and decent. He is an older man, possibly in his seventies. He lives on a farm with his sister where she keeps rescued horses.

On Monday, another co-worker announced to me that Bill is actually brain dead. His neighbor knows somehow. I had not even heard that Bill was sick.

This is a shock and a loss. If it is true, it is a tragedy.

There is lots of rumor at work. Often it is true. This sounded like cold gossip.

I decided to try to meditate and meet up with Bill to verify the truth. If he is in a coma, I might be able to talk to him. If he was just injured, I might be able to see him, assess his state and possibly help.

I planned to go to a certain field and meet up with what I think is Bill’s higher self. As I planned it, an image of Bill appeared in a suit like he would wear at work.

On Monday night, I went to try to talk to Bill in the spiritual field. He came up in a tan tunic of some sort. His eyes were bright and clear. He looked very mentally alert to me.

I said, "Hello Bill. How are you doing?"

He said, "Pretty good considering." That sounded like Bill’s dry humor. I thought his eyes were crinkling in a smile when he spoke. It may have been my imagination.

Not knowing what to do (there is not script for these things), I proceeded clumsily. "Bill, you have to go on a long journey (death). Are you ready?"

He just stared. I thought he began to look blank. He said nothing for 45 seconds. His not saying anything worried me.

Should I not have mentioned death? Does he not know? Was it not appropriate? Is he going to be ok and I just introduced some inappropriate idea?

"Bill would you like me to tell anyone anything? Is there anything I can do to help you?"

Again, he did not answer. My worrying about shamanic inadequacies and myself was ruining my concentration. I could not hear anything or think of anything else to say.

As I wondered, the picture of Bill changed. He was off in the near distance maybe ten feet away. He was surrounded by all kinds of animals. There was a black bird on his shoulder. He comes from a family of animal lovers so their presence was not surprising.

He did not respond to me after I implied death. From this, I assumed that he does not know he is dying. Maybe he is not dying. Maybe he is not ready to go. He could be hanging on for some reason. Or, he could be getting ready to walk out of the hospital soon in perfect health.

At work, the only facts from his family are that he is fallen and is in the hospital. Maybe that is all we need to know. I hate to hear gossip about when I care about the person.

At first, I didn't know what to make of this. Now it occurred to me that the black bird was a crow. In spiritual terms, the crow is a sign of magic and powerful transformation. To the Irish, a crow is often a sign that someone has passed away. Time will tell.